For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

This post gets a little personal, but I’m learning that our struggles and the lessons we learn from them are rarely meant for the struggler alone; whatever we go through, odds are, someone else is out there struggling with the same thing or something very similar.

I pray you’ll bear with me as I share a bit about my struggle in this season of life and offer some encouragement for those may be going through something similar.

In August of 2022, I left a full-time career in public education to pursue what God had for me next. When people asked what I was doing, I told them I was taking a “sabbatical” because I needed a break from what I was doing and the term seemed to fit. Every day I got up and worked out just like always, but instead of jumping into the car for a one hour commute, I walked into my kitchen and made my family breakfast, saw them off to school/work, prayed and then got to work studying and writing.

I wrote and I wrote and I planned for more writing and ways to reach others with it. My husband’s cholesterol went up from the daily helping of scrambled eggs I was now able to make him. My house was never cleaner. The laundry never more caught up. I made dinner every night and we ate around the table consistently for the first time in 18 years as a family.

But somewhere in early October, the honeymoon period of this new season ended and it sank in that I wasn’t on sabbatical at all. My position wouldn’t be waiting on me a year later (and neither would my salary – eep!). I had no clear vision what this new season in life should look like or if I’d ever go back into public education. In fact, as positions opened in my own community, I did not feel called to apply for them, not even the ones I had prayed to get in years past.

I wasn’t on sabbatical, but I was adrift…and…for the first time in 23+ years…unemployed.

Insecurity and doubt began to set in. The educational consulting network I thought I had built before I left my old position was not reaching out to me, and I felt zero pull to cold call my old contacts or promote myself to get consulting work. Still, I kept doing all the things every day trusting that my physical obedience to God’s call would get me through what had to be just a rough patch.

Get up. Work out. Make breakfast. Pray. Study. Write. Make dinner. Repeat.

Seemingly in answer to my obedient actions, the number of folks following my writing on social media rose all at once and…then hardly at all. I tried different Christian writing competitions and wasn’t selected and received no feedback other than “thanks for trying”. I began to wonder if obedience was enough or if I’d heard God incorrectly.

None of my usual methods for measuring the success or significance of my efforts seemed to apply in this new season.

Throughout November and on into December, I experienced periods of deep discouragement and spent many tearful hours on my knees in prayer, asking God to dispel the lies of the enemy telling me that there was no purpose to this uncomfortable, disorienting season, that, like many other things in my life, I had peeked early in my career/education, hit my ceiling in all areas of my life, including areas of ministry, and now I had nothing new, nothing worthwhile to give.

For weeks, I fought the urge to hang it all up and go back to work, knowing that my real calling isn’t in public education, but it’s a familiar field and people said I was good at it and that makes it look like a better option for me than it really is.

Like the Israelites of old, I’d taken to thinking that maybe Egypt really was better than the wilderness I found myself in.

Then one Sunday in mid-December, as I practiced to lead worship at church all of my doubts and fears came crashing in, and I struggled to sing even familiar worship songs. I found out in that service that I lack the ability to lead worship on auto-pilot, and I’m thankful because 1) I never want to sing for God out of habit or routine and 2) God used the experience to show me just how big the gap between my head and my heart had become and how only He, not my striving or my struggling, only He could put me back together and get me moving forward.

I’ve been through a doozy of a spiritual, mental, and emotional storm over the past four months, and I’m thankful for my Brothers and Sisters who have weathered it with me, even when they didn’t know what they were weathering.

One morning last week as I was preparing for the day, I couldn’t bring myself to turn on the praise music that I usually listen to, and I began to think that it would be another rough day. But then I saw the icon for the 4:13 Podcast on my phone and it hit me that I hadn’t listened to a 4:13 podcast since I quit commuting to work four months ago, so I scrolled through the first few and landed on one titled: Can I Find Purpose in My Next Season of Life?

It was like God wrote the title specifically for me. And of course, as all 4:13 Podcasts go, the answer to that question is, “Yes, I Can!”.

As I listened I realized that I have lies to overcome and strongholds to break down, but I also have a great and mighty God, a chain breaking, wall-crumbling God, and an army of Brothers and Sisters – some I don’t even know personally – who want to come to my aid with prayer and scripture, with encouragement and wisdom.

I’m still not sure what success or significance looks like in this season, but I know it is a season of purpose because God makes each and every one of us on purpose, for His purpose and His plan, and beloved, His plan is always good.

Sweet friend, if you’re in a transitional season, empty nesting or nearly so, nearing retirement or retired, or stepping out to do something new, I encourage you to give Jennifer’s podcast a listen.

As always, I am thankful friends for your encouragement, prayers, and wisdom along this journey. God made us for community and I wouldn’t make it nearly so far or so fast without mine, in-person or online.

May God bless you and keep you and much love to you friends! May you see Him at work even in the midst of your storm because friend, you can rest assured that He is there!