Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 4:29 (NLT)

Sweet friends, most of us are familiar with the old saying,

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” We probably even recited it as kids to defend ourselves against teasing. As adults though, I pray we’ve all come to recognize what a flimsy defense, what an outright lie it actually is. Words do hurt and hurtful words often leave longer lasting wounds than sticks and stones.

Our words matter. In Ephesians 4:29 we are reminded to let our words always be for encouragement. As a professional in the field of education and a woman endeavoring to walk closer to God each day, I know that the intention of this verse goes beyond what we say, beyond our words themselves, to our whole system of communication. The tone of our words matters. The motivation behind our words matters.

What we say is important but how we say it and why are just as critical.

Has anyone else noticed that our society seems to be more and more embroiled in the chaos of careless words and divisive intentions? So often it seems that if people disagree with each other, rather than sit down and reason together, they seek to “cancel” each other instead. I’ll be honest, I have friends and family members on social media that I “hide” from time to time because I just can’t… You know what I mean? I’m pretty sure you do.

It seems like everything these days is “us versus them”, and sometimes I’m “us” and other times I’m “them” and all the time I’m wondering why we can’t just be “you and me” and move forward together differences and all.

Over the past five or six years it seems like we manage as a people to politicize every illness, natural disaster, and tragic event, and times when we should pull together with hope-filled goodwill always seem to turn into a battle of extremes motivated by fear or pride or self-promotion and fueled by the slinging of mud on all sides. Even those who cautiously stay in the middle of issues or events are not safe; whether uncertain of what’s best or simply determined not to be swayed by extremism, if you aren’t on one end or the other, you’re a target for both.

Woe unto us dear hearts for we are on a path to destruction as a people! Our founding fathers are celebrated as men of reason and wisdom, but we aren’t seeing too many examples of reason and wisdom these days.

What do we then? We who recognize the dangerous path so many – maybe ourselves- are on.

We do the one and only thing that has ever brought peace and reconciliation and restoration: we fix our eyes on Jesus.

• We examine how He patiently treated others with compassion and gentleness.
• We study how He endured hurtful words and spoke back words of life.
• We pray in His name and ask to be filled with God’s wisdom and mercy and grace.
• We refuse to participate in or perpetuate initiatives or movements that are driven by fear and designed (knowingly or unwittingly) to make others angry or ashamed.
• We become the physical hands and feet of Christ every day, helping, restoring, encouraging, bringing unity and celebrating the unique perspectives and thought patterns that God gives each person.

Beloved one, may you shake off man’s chains of divisiveness this day and don the robe of God’s great mercy and grace. May your words bring life! May your tone bring encouragement! May your very presence bring a light that frees people from shame and fear!