Closing the Gap Between What You Know is True and What Feels True Right Now

It may come as a surprise to some, but for the last two weeks of November every year, I wake up long before the sun rises, don multiple layers of camouflage and bright orange, grab my grandpa’s old rifle, and hit the woods with my dad in search of a buck deer.

Growing up in Appalachia, venison is a big part of our diet and in recent years the prices of store-bought meats have made a freezer full of venison more of a necessity than simply a cultural preference. I’d be lying though if I said I’m in it just for the wonderful roasts, stews, and steaks we’ll enjoy throughout the year.

If you know many hunters, then you know there are also bragging rights attached to the size of the deer harvested – and – when it comes to bucks, the width, height, and number of points on the rack matter as much (or more) as the size of the body. Thousands of hunters will enter the woods in my state over those two weeks and some will come out with real prizes (quickly posted to social media these days) but just as many will come out empty-handed, having hunted elusive “wall-hangers” all week and not found any.

This was my experience for several days this past season. I saw doe after doe, as many as 14 at a time, but only saw one buck and he was woefully small of body and had pencil thin antlers that stretched up five or six inches and then crisscrossed at the top. He definitely had some growing up to do. Day by day, over those two weeks, I began to feel more and more discouraged. Knowing our need in the freezer department, I prayed asking God to send me something big enough to harvest. And…day after day…more does.

Here’s the thing though – my region has a concurrent doe season. I could have harvested a doe at any time. I had let some decent ones pass me by because I was looking for my solution – a buck, a big one that I could pad my resume as a hunter with, that I could brag about to family and friends. I became discouraged because I had my eyes locked on my want and my way and I failed to see that God had been providing me with exactly what I needed all along. On the next to last day of the season, I harvested a nice doe and thanked God for the lesson the weeks of searching provided:

Sweet friends, often we find ourselves struggling with the gap between what we know about God’s love and how we feel in the moment because we’re looking for our preferred solution to our perceived needs.

Let’s take a look back into 1 John 4 at verses 12 through 16.

¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. ¹³ This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. ¹⁴ And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. ¹⁵ If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. ¹⁶ And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

1 John 4:12-16

I really do wish I could sit down with you and some highlighters and dig into this together. If we could, here’s what I would share:

• We can’t physically see God (v.12).
• But, anyone who acknowledges Jesus as God’s Son, receives God’s Spirit (v.13-15).
• So, we can rely on God’s love because of His Spirit in us (v.16).
• God’s love is made complete in us when we love each other (v.12).

I started this series by sharing that sometimes I feel unloved or unlovable even though I know in my head that God loves me. Reflecting on this, I realize that I – and so perhaps you – often fail to feel God’s love because I can’t see God Himself smiling at me or hugging me and – just like I searched for days for the big buck that never came – I look so hard for what I want to see that I miss the ways that God is showing me His love:

• the gentle but firm touch of a church elder’s hand on my elbow as she tells me how healthy I look
• the hip-crushing squeeze of a squirrely little gal in children’s choir as her eyes look right into my soul and she proclaims, “I love you Miss Andrea!”
• the ear-to-ear grin of a dear friend’s foster baby, her little fingers excitedly flexing as she reaches for me (though I suspect she just likes my dangly earrings)
• an “Amen” left on an encouraging post or a devotion, or a comment that draws conversation about what God is sharing with someone
• a word of thanks for a ministry task, especially one that I think is unnoticed or out of my comfort zone
• the comforting flash of tiny moment after tiny moment poured out from Holy Spirit across my mind’s eye

Dear heart, look at verse 12 again – God’s love is made complete in us when we love each other. God knows I struggle at times to feel His love and – in adherence to His Word – when I love others and serve them in love, God pours out His love on me.

Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

Luke 6:38

If you’re struggling today to feel God’s love, may I encourage you to start looking for it in a new way? Instead of looking for what you think God’s love should look like or feel like, may I encourage you to focus more on loving others as Christ loved others? The evidence of God’s love can be bold and flashy – there’s no limit to what He can do – but I’ve found that His love is more often expressed through the tender whisper of Holy Spirit and the every day giving of our love to others that God returns to us in some way, pressed down, shaken together, and running over.

Today’s Reflection

1. What does God’s love look like to me?
   • Do I have a preferred way or a perceived need that may be keeping me from feeling God’s love in my life?
2. God often shows us His love through others, young and old, but He also speaks to us and shows us evidence of love in His Word and through Holy Spirit.
   • What are some of Bible verses that really speak God’s love to you?
   • How does Holy Spirit relay God’s love to you?
3. Read 2 Corinthians 9:6-8. Consider it alongside 1 John 4:12-16 and Luke 6:38. What does these verses show us about the evidence of God’s love?

Consider Praying with Me

Dear Heavenly Father, how I do look forward to the day when I will meet You face-to-face! Lord, I know that Your love is all around me, in the very air I breathe and the sunlight that kisses my face, but sometimes I rely so heavily on what I think would be a loving solution to my problems or how I would prefer to see Your love at work in my life, that I miss the wonderful blessing of love that comes simply from knowing You, from the experience of housing Your Spirit. Help me remember Father that Your love is made complete, made mature, in me when I pour it outward into the lives of others. Give me eyes to see Your love in the every day and to receive it through the drawing of Holy Spirit into prayer time with You and into the study of Your Word, Your love letter to us. Thank You for loving me and for sending Your Son Jesus to show me what love is all about! Amen.