It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since I slept through the night. I come home, fall asleep on the couch and then wake up in time for bed only to be laying wide awake. I will then resort to the couch. Mike comes to check on me and suggests I take the day off.

After telling my husband that I have to be at work tomorrow, and assuring him that there is nothing he can do for me, the only thing left for him to do is go back to sleep. The waves and currents of my mind slam against me as I toss and turn from side to side just trying to keep off my pressure point of my hurting back.

Like most of you, I get up and do it all over again. The thought of leaving my job breaks my heart. The thought of leaving the job up to someone else is an unthinkable act. I once saw a teacher who was in school sick with the flu (pre-covid). “Go home!” I told him. He said, “I can’t. I have quiz to give.” I told him that there are other people who can give a quiz. “Not like me,” he stated. He endured the day just to give his quiz to his students.

Teachers are dedicated and loyal to whom they work with and their students. We are known for being altruistic and giving. We are ones who stick it out, tough it out and push through. After time, we begin to believe that we are the only ones who can do the job we are doing. We can feel the pressure of the world and the weight of every soul on our rosters and their well-beings.

At the end of the day, there are other people who can get our job done when we are gone or out of the classroom. I realized at the end of the day it’s not all on me. I’m not called to carry the world on my shoulders. I’m not called to be responsible for everyone and everything and neither are you my friend.

I worry about my students. I worry about their grades, what they are learning, what I am teaching them, preparing them for their futures, about their families, and their lives outside of my school. I want each of my students to be successful and go forward in what life will bring to them. But what really is my role? Can I control their decisions? Can I predict their futures or keep bad things from happening to them? Is that within my job description or even within my limitations. Is it possible to take on the burden of every student’s future?

I want to tell you dear teacher, to the ones who haven’t slept in two weeks…who haven’t slept in over two weeks. To the ones who feel trapped in their jobs and no one else can do it… that’s not for you to carry. Our society has been in chaos and turmoil. We are in a battle each and every day. Just remember dear teacher that you are valuable too. You need rest too. You need to care for your health too. If that means taking a break from your job until you can catch your breath then please do so. You are valuable and your health is valuable.

Happy Saturday!!! You are allowed to rest today.

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