36 Then Gideon said to God, "If You will deliver Israel by my hand, as You said,
37 I will put a fleece of wool here on the threshing floor. If dew is only on the fleece, and all the ground is dry, I will know that You will deliver Israel by my strength, as You said."
38 And that is what happened. When he got up early in the morning, he squeezed the fleece and wrung dew out of it, filling a bowl with water.
39 Gideon then said to God, "Don't be angry with me; let me speak one more time. Please allow me to make one more test with the fleece. Let it remain dry, and the dew be all over the ground."
40 That night God did [as Gideon requested]: only the fleece was dry, and dew was all over the ground.

- Judges 6:36-40 CSB

Ah, laying out the fleece.

Another phrase I’ve used to describe my own indecisiveness and unbelief. In terms of running jokes with my ladies group, laying out the fleece is right up there with waiting on my talking donkey to show up.

Oh friends, how often I require God’s reassurance and confirmation to get my feet moving or my fingers typing.

I feel like Gideon is my soul-brother, like we have a deep connection over this need to know, like really KNOW that God has actually called on us, personally, specifically. When God speaks to me through Holy Spirit, I often feel like the kid who gets called on at school, and instead of answering, responds to the teacher’s request with another question, “Who me?”.

To say I’m familiar with this passage in Judges 6 is an understatement. I’m pretty sure I live it every day. What I was less familiar with before sitting down to write this post though, was the first half of Judges 6. The half where Gideon first gets called to lead God’s people out of oppression. If you have the time, take a look at Judges 6:1-24.

In case you don’t have time, here’s my play-by-play: The Israelites have been disobedient (Again. Man, I relate to them so well too!), and they’re experiencing poverty and oppression at the hand of the Midianites. They cry out to the Lord and He sends the Angel of the Lord to Gideon, the youngest son of the weakest family in the tribe of Manasseh. Despite Gideon’s view of himself as lesser, the Angel of the Lord tells him that God will deliver His people from the Midianites by Gideon’s hand.

Now, here’s where my mind explodes a little, the Angel of the Lord is physically standing before Gideon telling him that he has been chosen by God to lead his people in a war against the Midianites and – wait for it – Gideon asks for a sign that he has found favor in God’s sight. Then, he asks the Angel of the Lord to stick around while he runs back to his house to get a gift to set before him.

The Angel of the Lord is LITERALLY standing in front of him, telling him, with words, and a voice, that God has chosen him AND he asks for a sign, then runs off to get it. Like, puts the Angel of the Lord on hold to go get it.

And the Angel of the Lord…stays there and waits!

Then, when Gideon returns, the Angel of the Lord tells him how to prepare the gift as an offering and then consumes the offering with fire to confirm what He told Gideon.

By now you might be wondering why I titled this post “Thankful for Patience”, and you might be getting impatient for me to get to my point. Here it is:

How wonderfully, fabulously, immeasurably patient is the Lord our God!?

It’s no secret that I frustrate myself with my fears and doubts regarding the walk that God has called me to with Him. I’ve told you before that I long for God’s physical presence, a holy memo, a ministry conversation across what I imagine is an immense mahogany desk. And I worry that these desires disqualify me from God’s service, that they are faithless.

But here’s Gideon, face-to-face with the Angel of the Lord trying to talk him into thinking he’s too young and without influence/resources to be called by God and then questioning whether or not he actually has God’s favor to lead the people – a job that the Angel of the Lord SPECIFICALLY told him was his seconds before. I’m thinking, “Gideon, God sent you the Angel of the Lord. Obviously you have His favor.”

Then, some time later, after experiencing some victory, he’s back at it again with the fleece, like, “God, me again, just checking in that I heard You correctly the first time, so, um, if you could make this fleece wet and the ground dry, that’d be a great confirmation.” And then, after that happens, “God, me, one more time, just crossing my t’s and dotting my i’s here, if you could make the ground wet and the fleece dry, that’d be a great reassurance to me that I’m definitely your guy.”

And God does that too.

So today, I’m thankful for God’s patience. His patience with Gideon to reassure him time and again that He really did pick him and He really was with him. His patience with me to reassure me time and again through sermons and studies and songs and Holy Spirit whispers and nudges in prayer that He really did tell me what He’s told me to do and He really did mean to tell me and not some other, better, less doubtful, more resourced Daughter.

And friend, whatever God has called you to, He meant that too, and He meant you too.

Father God, may we someday stop laying out so many fleeces, but may we never lose the awe and wonder that You have chosen to work in us and through us for the growth of Your Kingdom growth and for Your honor and glory.