I started reading the book pictured above a few months ago, and the first two chapters hit home. I think I even posted some about what I was learning from it. But then, as I came into chapter three, I found that I just couldn’t focus on it, so I put it down.

A few weeks ago, I got tired of it cluttering my bedside table, so I moved it down to my office and set it in a stack of recently read, partially read, and waiting to be read books on my study table.

Then, last week, I found myself finishing my current study well inside the hour I set aside daily for study time, and what was the first book that caught my eye in the stack?

Yep, this one.

I picked up where I left off and I realized, I lost focus in chapter three because I wasn’t ready to hear what God had given the author to say at that time.

I’m finding God’s timing is perfect that way; He places messages within our reach when we are ready to hear them, and not a moment sooner.

A quote from the book comes to mind, “In God’s kindness, He will let us stay here until we develop what we need to develop.”

In a very real and practical way, God paused me in the message of this book while He led me through an area of development using another book I’ve shared, “You Are More Than You’ve Been Told” (Hosanna Wong).

In our time together with that book, God showed me through His Word and the message He gave the author, how events I thought I’d processed had been buried but not processed, or not processed rightly through the lens of His love and forgiveness. Working through that with God brought clarity and healing and then, the book was over, but I still felt stuck in this weird season. Healthier, but still uncomfortable and not really moving forward.

Re-enter the book with the subtitle “Finding Strength and Wisdom When You Feel Stuck Where You Are”.

In God’s perfect humor, the title of chapter three, the one I couldn’t engage with earlier this year, is “Delayed Developments”. I read it quickly, finding that much of what was there, I’d been through in great depth in the other book. God knew a chapter wouldn’t do for it me; I needed a whole study in how where I’d been and who I’d been in those seasons shaped me into who I am today, the good, the bad, and the ugly, and how God can transform the bad and the ugly and work it for my good and for His glory.

On to a new section of this book, Separation, and chapters four, five, and six, which address identifying and separating from what no longer suits or serves us. The book follows the life of Moses. In this section, the author focuses on the second 40 years of Moses’ 120 years on this earth, the years he spent in Midian as a shepherd.

Quotes that stand out to me in these chapters are:

• “God may not be all we want, but He is all we need.”

• “He [Moses] had been running, hiding, and now it was time to stop.”

As I reread Moses’ story, I realized that I often skim over the 40 years between Egypt and Egypt. I’m not sure why, maybe I’ve always just thought being a shepherd wasn’t nearly as exciting as being rescued from the river and raised as a prince (his first 40 years) or being the one God uses to rescue the Israelite people and lead them to the Promised Land (his last 40 years). As the author notes, maybe I’ve always considered the 40 years Moses spent as a shepherd to be a downgrade.

I certainly feel at times like I’ve been downgraded in this current season of life. I’ve struggled with the lack of busyness because, to me, being busy means I am necessary to others or to the work and therefore, an important person. I’ve struggled with the lack of consistency in income, steady and substantial income being another indicator of success and importance based on my past experiences. After all, doesn’t the world tell us that the most important person is the one who makes the most money?

And, oh friends, what a time of confession and repentance those realizations brought.

How often over the past year have I lamented the unhurried time God has given me?

• Too often.

How many times have I sought to fill it with activity instead of using it to spend time with Him?

• Too many.

How far have I let the enemy lead me down fear-laden paths of depression and anxiety over not making a consistent income?

• Too far.

And though I have struggled to join God in His invitation to stop running and stop hiding, to just slow down and sit with Him…

Though I have resisted talking to Him about many of the things He wanted to talk about…

Though I recognized He is all I need long before I embraced what it means for Him to be all I want…

…how good has He been to continue to draw me in?

So, very, unimaginably, good.

Dear heart, you and I most likely don’t have Moses’ 120 years on this earth, and, like me, you may feel like you’ve made a real mess of the first 40, and maybe the next 40 look pretty uncertain right now. Maybe you’re feeling uncomfortable or more than a little stuck.

Maybe sitting down with your mess, your uncertainty, or your discomfort is the last thing you want to do right now.

Trust me, I get it because I’ve been there, and in some ways, I am there right now.

But can I encourage you to do something?

Sit down and ask God to join you in it.

In fact, I have a feeling He’s already there, waiting on you to join Him.

Sit down with God for however long it takes and give Him the mess, have the talks, allow Him to give you the wisdom and the strength to wrestle with your past, or your present as the case may be, and separate you from what no longer suits you or serves you as a child of the King.

You see, the enemy would have us believe that slowing down to do things God’s way, that separating ourselves from the ways of the world that have informed our thoughts and actions, is somehow a downgrade, that doing less worldly things somehow makes us less.

But what the enemy doesn’t want us to know is that separating ourselves from our worldly past or worldly present, whatever that looks like for each of us, isn’t a downgrade at all, it’s an upgrade.

It is in these seasons of discomfort, where we feel a bit stuck, that God is inviting us to slow down and learn who we really are: unconditionally loved, immeasurably valued, relentlessly pursued by our Creator, the Living God, the Great I Am, He Who Is the Beginning and the End.

Accept His invitation to sit down. It’s uncomfortable, I know, but I can testify that God gives comfort in our discomfort, and, friend, the results are well-worth the time and the tears.