Closing the Gap Between What You Know is True and What Feels True Right Now

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creation, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38

Romans 8:38 is a go-to verse for reminding ourselves of God’s love and it’s one that many have memorized. But, even though I can recite Romans 8:38, sometimes I have a difficult time reconciling what I know to be true with what feels true in the moment. I know nothing can separate me from the love of God because God’s Word says so and God’s Word is truth, but sometimes I feel really unlovable.

Does anyone else ever experience that gap between what you know to be true and what feels true right now?

Anyone else ever have moments when you not only listen to all of the horrible things that Satan says about you, but you actually join in on the beating or hand over some extra ammo so he can make you feel even more unlovable?

Goodness, some days Satan doesn’t have to lift a finger because I’m tearing myself down for missteps and mistakes or working myself up with anxious thoughts about my relationship with others or about upcoming projects and how I’ll probably let others or God down. Since learning about God’s love as a child, I have grown to fairly consistently extend it to others, but to this day I still struggle to accept it for myself.

Why then am I choosing to talk to you about His love? How am I remotely qualified to share with you on the topic?

Because I am desperately aware of how much I need to allow myself to experience God’s love, and God often calls us to share with others what we most need ourselves.

Dear heart, since the enemy can’t separate us from God one of his go-to tactics is to bring us out of harmony with God and a quick way to plant a seed of discord is to lead us to doubt God’s love for us. It’s been my experience that the enemy does this one of three ways. In my life, he does them in the order below, but they may come in a different order for you.

1. Tempt me with sin so that I build a wall of resentment or disobedience between myself and God, breaking down our fellowship because I childishly believe that if God really loved me, He’d let me have or do whatever that sin offers. If I don’t fall for that ploy, the enemy tries to…
2. Distract me with several people’s needs or lots of ministry projects so that I’m busy loving other people on God’s behalf but I’m not actually seeking a deeper love with Him, leaving me open to being overwhelmed and refusing God’s loving grace through my perfectionist tendencies. If that doesn’t work, the enemy tries to…
3. Convince me that I’m not someone God can love so that I withdraw into the darkness of my own doubts and fears and in doing so distance myself from God’s reminders that nothing can separate me from His love.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit, that sneaky snake in the grass can catch me just with number two alone. I enjoy being helpful and seeing work completed and receiving compliments for a job well done, and I’m very aware of my intense fear of being useless or unproductive; God and I are working on it.

But, and I’m guessing this is true for you too, what usually happens is that belly-crawling so-and-so hits me with one or two and then kicks me with three while I’m down – especially when I’m struggling to cast off the temptation he presented in number one or something up in number two isn’t going as I planned. The next thing I know, I’m paralyzed in flashbacks of past failures or perceived past failures and I let Satan pick and pick at me until I can’t breathe for the weight of my failings as a child of God, a ministry leader, a mom, a wife, a friend, a sister, a writer…

Oh friend, sometimes I even drag that junk over into my prayer life, remembering to talk to God because I feel miserable and want Him to fix it, but then going way beyond a humble stance in front of my Almighty Lord to questioning whether He should be talking to me at all and wondering why He hasn’t taken the gifts and talents He has given me back and given them to someone who is more obedient or more able instead of to this hot mess. Then, I realize that questioning my inclusion in His divine plan and doubting His decision to use me shows a lack of faith which feels terribly much like sinning and I seem to prove to myself that I am a wretched woman who should flee fast and far from the face of the Lord. And… with that, my friend, the enemy has the foothold in the battle for my testimony that he wanted. OUCH!

Anyone else out there able to echo those thoughts and feelings with an “Oh me!”?

Christian, we have all been in a place where we did the enemy’s work of drawing us away from God for him. In this uncomfortable season of transitioning out of full-time career to pursue a Kingdom-focused life, I find myself on my office carpet in an insecure, mascara-streaked heap at least once every few days. In absolute transparency, this series is a result of having been pulled off my knees and up to the keyboard after asking God for the tender mercy of a neon sign or a burning bush or a talking donkey to ease my fears and show me that I am on the right track and that I am not a terrible, useless child unworthy of His love and adoption.

I promise this next part will make sense as the series progresses, but as God pulled me up I started crying and laughing and praising Him for evidence of His love that I’d seen throughout the week: an elder of our church and the firm grip of her cold, papery-soft hand on my elbow and the hip-crushing hugs of a pig-tailed chubby-cheeked kindergartener with adoring eyes for Miss Andrea. As these affirmations and others flashed before my eyes, God drove it home very clearly, “You don’t need a talking donkey to know I love you and I have called you and will use you! Stop groveling, get up, and get to work!”.

And you know what sweet friend? You don’t need some stinking donkey to know God loves you either!

This week, beloved Siblings in Christ, we’re going to armor up against the enemy by taking a deep dive into God’s love and His grace. In each devotion I’ll also share some of the techniques that God is teaching me to kick Satan back to the pit any time he tries to put a wedge between my heart and mind and God’s immeasurable love.

As the series goes on, I’ll post links at the top of each page to help you navigate through the series if you want to review anything. I’ll also share some reflection questions at the end of each day and a prayer. Consider answering the questions in a journal or sharing your thoughts as a comment here or on Facebook to help other Believers keep moving forward in their walk with God as well.

Today’s Reflection:

• Is the enemy more likely to catch me with temptation, busyness, or self-criticism?
  • When this happens, what are my current tactics for shaking him loose? (Could you share this in the comments to help others? If so, please do!)
• What do I currently know about God’s love and grace?
  • Are there any Bible verses or experiences I could share with others to help them learn what I have learned? (Please do!)
• Is there anything about God’s love that I’m having trouble remembering is true when it doesn’t feel true in the moment?
  • Consider sharing so this community can help you find the Bible verses and resources you need!

Pray with Me

Precious Heavenly Father, I know Your Word says nothing can ever separate me from Your love, but sometimes I allow myself to become distanced from Your love. When the enemy attacks me with temptation, distraction, or criticism, I don’t always run to You right away like I should, and I help the enemy hurt me or cause me to forget to talk to You or even to run or hide from You. Forgive me Father when what my head knows doesn’t sink deeply enough to override what I feel. Help me Lord to learn more about Your endless love and amazing grace and to walk securely and victoriously in it each day. Amen.