And Saul answered and said, “Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin? Why then do you speak like this to me?”

1 Samuel 9:21

Ah, King Saul. The Bible tells us that there was not a more handsome man among the Israelites. He stood – literally – head and shoulders above the rest (1 Samuel 9:2). Saul was the very outward projection of the kind of king the people asked God to give them.

Clearly though, looks aren’t everything…and Saul appears to have known it.

God chose Saul as the first human king to rule His people. When Samuel tells Saul though, he responds with the statement above – that he was from a lesser house of the smallest tribe. Despite his outward appearance and strength, he initially dismissed himself as a candidate for leadership. Later when it was time to declare him king in front of others, Saul could not be found…because he was hiding in the baggage claim area (1 Samuel 10:22), demonstrating once again that he was not so sure of himself and that he was not sure of God’s selection.

Saul lacked confidence in himself but worse, he lacked confidence in God.

Now, sweet friends, Saul was a doubter but he wasn’t a totally bad guy. I mean sure, he was insanely jealous of David and threw a spear across a room and sent men to kill David off and on for a bit, but you know, he won some great battles for the people of Israel too and brought some peace and prosperity to the land at times.

Unfortunately, it’s only “some” and not “much” and only “at times” instead of “for a long time” because Saul suffered from what many would call…selective listening. He followed God’s directions but he tended to leave something out – or add something on (like threatening people’s lives with severed cow parts) and because of his partial obedience and immature faith he was destined to lead a kingdom always at war.

When he wasn’t at war with someone else, he was at war with his own insecurities (1 Samuel 9:21; 10:21-22).

Saul also suffered from a case of “people-pleasing”. He wanted to be liked, loved, adored, and when he saw that David was gaining popularity, he felt threatened. He completely forgot or dismissed the fact that God had chosen him, Saul, to be king and he tried to take care of David his own way once again showing his lack of faith in God’s selection of and provision for him as king. In the end, doing things his own way and trying to please other people led him to take on the role of king and priest, a role he was clearly told not to take – so God removed His blessing from Saul and selected David to be the next king of Israel.

Dear heart, I don’t know about you, but when I read about Saul, I just want to yell, “Stop doing it your way, Saul! Stop trying to please other people and just do what God told you to do how He told you to do it!“.

And yet…I have to acknowledge that while I may not throw weapons or wage personal wars out of my insecurity, I have thrown public hissy fits and private pity parties upon occasion because of it. I’m guessing that I’m not alone in that regard.

Beloved, what can we do when our insecurities come calling? When we, like Saul, feel that we are unworthy, unqualified, unimportant? When our fear of failure makes us want to hide from God’s calling? When our need for validation from others threatens to override our obedience to God?

We turn to the Word and we recall that we are:

• fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16)
• a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession (1 Peter 2:9)
• God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works that God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10)
• covered in the grace of Christ and strengthened by His power (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

As God’s chosen people we aren’t haughty, but we don’t beg for or bend to the approval of others either.

As God’s handiwork, we take on the work that He calls us to knowing that He provides the strength, wisdom, endurance, and all other needed traits and resources to complete it. What God calls us to He will equip us to do!

May we never forget that in our weakness, we are made strong through Jesus Christ! May we ever remember that God turns our short-comings into opportunities to display His power and glory!

Father God, help us turn from our insecurities and our need to please others. Help us always to keep our eyes locked on You, to trust Your selection and Your provision. May we be found standing firm in our calling and not hiding amongst our baggage!